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Relational Matrix

How to Relate

I enjoy talking about relationships and challenging the “I can do good all by myself” mindset some of us adopt amidst seasons of singularity and/or rough patches. I reference God in Genesis. After each day of creation, “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Mind you, mankind was distinguished from the rest of creation when the triune assembly agreed upon “let us make man in our image; in our likeness.” So, why then, if made in God’s image, was it unfit for Adam to be alone? God, our creator, in and of himself relates – The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Throughout scripture we can see how one edifies the next and so on. God then, in his grace and grandeur, afforded us the full realization of godliness by noting, that while all he had created was very good, it wasn’t good for man to be alone. This is the only time in the creation process that we hear him say “it isn’t good.” Therefore, just as God is in relationship as Father, Son and Holy Spirit – so are we called into relationship with Him and with one another.

The church already speaks a lot on this notion of “relationship, not religion.” It’s good wordplay, but how do we approach it practically? I’ve created a relational matrix that can be your model for securing and sustaining relationships, personal and professional. I pull from the scriptures, examples reflective of how God secures and sustains us as well as how we’re to do so with one another.

Implement this model with your personal and professional relationships. Comment here or on my shared posts on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Tumblr as to how you did and the result thereof. 



REACH to relate
REMEMBER to relate

Reach in and get to know someone

“Reach out” and “keep in touch” with somebody


Be memorable (first impression).

Make new memories (permanent impression).

[God unto Us]: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

[Us unto Others]: I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.

[God unto Us]: “… But for their sake I will remember the covenant with their ancestors whom I brought out of Egypt in the sight of the nations to be their God. I am the Lord.”

[Us unto Others]: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

REMAIN to relate
REVIVE to relate

Be last to leave.

Remain connected, engaged, interested; check in even when others are checking out.

Breathe new life into somebody by introducing them to new things that expand their existing skills and create new areas of interests. Be the reference when someone says “_ put me on,” “_ introduced me to that”

Renew and refresh your relationships with recreation (i.e., fun, enjoyment, relaxation)

[God unto Us]: I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

[Us unto Others]: …But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

[God unto Us]: But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength

[Us unto Others]: As iron sharpens iron,
   so one person sharpens another.


John 3:16
1 Corinthians 9:22
Leviticus 26:45
Philippians 4:8
John 15:5
Acts 2:1-4
Isaiah 4:31
Proverbs 27:17


Secure – to fix or fasten so as not to give way, become loose, or lost; not subject to threat, certain to remain/continue safe and unharmed

Sustain – to uphold, affirm; bear (the weight of) without breaking or falling; cause to continue or be prolonged for an extended period without interruption

Reach – to be able to touch, pickup, or grab

Remember – to call or bring to mind

Remain – to be left after other parts are gone/used; something that is still to be done; to continue unchanged

Revive – restore to health; refresh/renew


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